What If My Spouse Does Not Give Me Access to My Child in Singapore?
Your divorce is over, and the Court has ordered that you are entitled to see your child every weekend.
You turn up to collect your child. Your ex-spouse refuses to hand the child over.
The following week, the same thing happens.
Or perhaps your ex-spouse simply tells you:
“The child does not want to see you.”
What can you actually do?
If there is already a Court order giving you access to your child, you do not have to simply accept repeated breaches of that order.
There are concrete steps you can take to enforce your access rights.
Step 1: Send a Written Message Asking for Access
The first step is usually the simplest: put your request for access in writing.
If the Court order provides that you are entitled to access at a particular date and time, send your ex-spouse a clear message stating that you intend to exercise your access in accordance with the Court order.
For example:
"The Court Order provides that I am to have access to [child] every Saturday from 10.00 a.m. to 6.00 p.m. I will be exercising my access this Saturday in accordance with the Court Order. Please confirm that [child] will be available for collection at 10.00 a.m."
Keep the communication short, polite and factual.
Do not send abusive or threatening messages.
More importantly, keep the messages.
If your ex-spouse refuses access, the WhatsApp messages, emails and other correspondence may subsequently become evidence in an application to enforce the access order.
You should also keep a record of:
every date on which access was supposed to take place;
the time and place for collection;
whether you attended for collection;
whether access was refused;
the explanation given for refusing access; and
any expenses you incurred because access was cancelled or refused.
This evidence can become important if Court proceedings are eventually necessary.
Step 2: Get a Family Lawyer to Send a Formal Letter
If your ex-spouse continues refusing access, the next practical step is to consider instructing a family lawyer.
The lawyer can write formally to your ex-spouse referring to the existing Court order and the instances where access has been denied.
The letter can require your ex-spouse to immediately comply with the access order and make clear that, if access continues to be denied, an application may be made to the Family Courts to enforce the access order without further notice.
This serves two purposes.
First, it gives your ex-spouse a final opportunity to comply with the Court order without further litigation.
Second, if your ex-spouse continues refusing access despite receiving a lawyer's letter, the correspondence can demonstrate to the Court that attempts were made to resolve the breaches before an enforcement application was commenced.
Indeed, under the Family Justice Courts Practice Directions 2024, an applicant's supporting affidavit for an access enforcement application should state whether attempts were made to resolve the alleged breaches and, if so, provide details of those attempts.
Step 3: Apply to Court to Enforce the Access Order
If access continues to be denied, you can apply to the Family Justice Courts for enforcement of the child access order.
Singapore introduced a specific enforcement framework for child access orders which took effect from 2 January 2025.
Under Part 3A of the Family Justice (General) Rules 2024, an access enforcement application may be brought to enforce qualifying access orders. For this procedure, the alleged breaches must have occurred on or after 2 January 2025.
The application must identify the access order being enforced, the specific provisions that have been breached and the particular enforcement orders you want the Court to make.
Your supporting affidavit should set out the individual breaches clearly — including the date, time and location of each alleged breach — and exhibit the relevant evidence.
This is why keeping proper records from the first missed access session is important.
What Can the Court Do If My Ex-Spouse Refuses Access?
The Court now has significant powers to deal with breaches of child access orders.
Under section 126B(3) of the Women's Charter 1961, where an access order has been breached, the Court may make one or more enforcement orders.
1. Order Make-Up Access
The Court may order your ex-spouse to give you additional access to make up for the access that was wrongly denied.
For example, if you were wrongfully denied several access sessions, the Court may order make-up access.
The purpose is to restore the access which you lost because of the breach.
2. Order Your Ex-Spouse to Compensate You
The Court may order the parent who breached the access order to compensate you for reasonable expenses incurred because of the breach.
This may be relevant where you incurred expenses in reliance on the access taking place but the other parent subsequently refused to comply with the order.
Keep receipts and documentary evidence of any expenses you intend to rely upon.
3. Order Counselling, Mediation or Other Programmes
The Court may order the parents, the child, or any of them to attend:
counselling;
mediation;
a therapeutic or educational programme specified by the Court; or
a family support programme.
This can be particularly relevant where the access dispute has become entrenched or the relationship between the child and one parent has deteriorated.
4. Require Your Ex-Spouse to Provide a Compliance Bond
The Court may order the parent who breached the access order to execute a compliance bond, with or without sureties or security.
In practical terms, this is intended to secure that parent's future compliance with the access order.
If the parent subsequently breaches the access order or the conditions of the bond without reasonable excuse, the bond may be forfeited and the Court may require payment of the relevant sum.
5. Fine Your Ex-Spouse
The consequences can become considerably more serious where a parent deliberately refuses to comply with an access order.
For every breach of the access order, the Court has the power under section 126B(3)(e) of the Women's Charter to impose a fine of up to S$20,000.
This is important.
A Court order concerning access is not merely a suggestion as to when a parent should see his or her child. Parties are expected to comply with Court orders.
Repeated or deliberate non-compliance can therefore have serious consequences.
6. Imprisonment Is Also Possible
In sufficiently serious cases, the Court's powers go even further.
For every breach, the Court may sentence the parent in breach to imprisonment for up to 12 months, or impose both imprisonment and a fine of up to S$20,000.
This does not mean that imprisonment will automatically follow whenever an access session is missed.
The circumstances of the breach matter. There is an obvious difference between a child genuinely being ill on one occasion and a parent repeatedly and deliberately refusing to comply with a Court order.
However, the availability of imprisonment demonstrates how seriously persistent breaches of Court-ordered access can potentially be treated.
“My Child Doesn't Want to See You” — Is That Enough?
One of the most common explanations given for refusing access is:
“The child doesn't want to go.”
That statement does not automatically bring an existing Court order to an end.
Unless the order has been varied or set aside, it remains a Court order.
Of course, the child's welfare remains paramount, and there may be genuine circumstances where a child's reluctance to attend access requires investigation.
But a parent should be careful about repeatedly relying on the child's alleged refusal as a justification for preventing access without taking appropriate steps to address the problem.
If the existing access arrangement is genuinely no longer appropriate, the proper course may be to seek legal advice about varying the order rather than simply refusing to comply with it indefinitely.
What If My Ex-Spouse Says I Did Not Pay Maintenance?
Another common situation is where access is withheld because the other parent says that maintenance has not been paid.
The two issues should not be treated as bargaining chips.
If there is a Court order requiring maintenance to be paid, that order should be complied with.
Likewise, if there is a Court order requiring access to be given, that order should also be complied with.
A parent should not ordinarily respond to an alleged failure to pay maintenance by unilaterally denying Court-ordered access.
If maintenance has not been paid, there are separate legal mechanisms available to enforce maintenance.
Can I Immediately Apply to Court?
Yes, where there has been a breach falling within the applicable enforcement regime, an access enforcement application can be made.
However, from a practical perspective, it is often sensible to first create a clear documentary record.
Send the message requesting access.
Record the refusal.
If the problem persists, have a lawyer send a formal letter requiring compliance.
If your ex-spouse still refuses to comply, you can then consider commencing an access enforcement application and place the history before the Court.
The Family Justice Courts expressly require an applicant's supporting affidavit to address whether attempts were made to resolve the alleged breaches.
What Evidence Should I Keep?
If access is repeatedly denied, start keeping your evidence immediately.
Keep the Court order, WhatsApp conversations, emails, screenshots, photographs where relevant, receipts for expenses incurred, and a chronological table of every missed access session.
For each incident, record:
Date of access: 15 August 2026
Access ordered: 10.00 a.m. to 6.00 p.m.
Collection location: [location]
What happened: Attended at 10.00 a.m. Ex-spouse refused to hand over child.
Reason given: “Child doesn't want to go.”
Evidence: WhatsApp messages and photograph showing attendance at collection point.
Do not wait until there have been numerous breaches before trying to reconstruct what happened from memory.
Enforcement Application or Contempt of Court?
There is an important distinction.
For a particular breach of an access order, you cannot pursue both the specific access enforcement procedure and contempt proceedings for the same breach.
Section 126B(6) of the Women's Charter 1961 provides that, in respect of a breach, the affected parent may either make an access enforcement application or bring proceedings to punish the other parent for contempt of Court, but not both.
For breaches occurring before 2 January 2025, the specific access enforcement procedure is not available and contempt proceedings may instead have to be considered.
Legal advice should therefore be obtained on the appropriate procedure, particularly where there have been multiple breaches over a long period.
My Ex-Spouse Is Denying Me Access. What Should I Do Now?
If there is already a Court order granting you access, the practical sequence is straightforward:
First: Send a written message requesting access strictly in accordance with the Court order.
Second: Keep evidence of every refusal or obstruction of access.
Third: If the refusal continues, engage a family lawyer to send a formal letter requiring immediate compliance and giving notice that enforcement proceedings may follow.
Fourth: If your ex-spouse still refuses access, consider filing an application in the Family Courts to enforce the access order.
The Court has substantial enforcement powers. These include ordering make-up access, compensation for reasonable expenses, counselling or other programmes, requiring a compliance bond and, in appropriate cases, imposing a fine of up to S$20,000, imprisonment for up to 12 months, or both, for every breach.
You therefore do not have to simply accept repeated denial of Court-ordered access.
Speak to a Singapore Child Access Lawyer
If your ex-spouse is repeatedly preventing you from seeing your child despite an existing Court order, early action is important.
21 Chambers LLC advises and represents parents in child access disputes, including applications for enforcement of access orders, variation of access arrangements, custody, care and control, and other proceedings concerning children.
Where appropriate, we can first write formally to the other parent requiring compliance with the existing access order. If access continues to be denied, we can advise on and commence the appropriate enforcement proceedings before the Family Courts.